The Need for Face-to-face Communications

We live in a fast paced society. Everyone isKhurana PhD.
constantly on the go. Whether it's in pursuit ofHis 14 month report revealed that there is a
survival or success, time just seems increasinglysignificant and increasing body of evidence, to
limited. The consequence of this time crunch isdate, which reveals in at least 8 comprehensive
that we are all engaged inclinical studies internationally, and one long-term
touch-n-go-communications.meta-analysis, a link between mobile phone usage
That's sparse communication that you have withand certain brain tumors. Taken together, the
people while on the run. Some of us sustaindata presented in this report compellingly suggest
relationships with people in this manner for years;that the link between mobile phones and brain
an email here, a voice mail there, and before youtumors should no longer be regarded as a myth.
know it, your entire relationship is predicated onEye-opening, isn't it?
rushed and abbreviated cell phone conversations,What happens when we as a society become
endless phone tag, and/or, sporadic text ormore comfortable with interacting with each other
voicemail messages.online or via cell phones than we do in person?
Everyone does it, and everyone is victimized byWe underdeveloped our communication skills - our
it. It has (sadly) become the norm and its practicetrue communication skills require attentive listening,
is not called into question. But it should be. So let'sempathy, and emotional intelligence.
take a minute and put down our cell phones andAs a college professor, I'm encountering an
ultra modern communication devices and askalarming number of withdrawn and socially inept
ourselves this question: Are these devices reallystudents that are more comfortable with online
helping us communicate?interactions than face-to-face communications.
At best, they are wonderful technological tools,Many will wait for class to end and then go home
but like all tools, they were created for theto email questions rather than engage in real-time
purpose of helping us build, achieve, or accomplishcommunications in the presence of their
something with their use - not because of theirclassmates. It's less threatening, but it's also
use. Relaying and confirming information via text;normal for many of them.
setting up or confirming meetings; gettingUnfortunately, those are the ones who don't
directions; and a "quick" hello, are just some ofknow when it's abnormal (i.e. inappropriate) to not
the more constructive and conservative ways tocommunicate directly (face-to-face). Yes, due
use a cell phone.diligence and old fashioned respect dictate that
They are a prelude if not a prerequisite tobad news, things of a deeply personal or
face-to-face communications when possible, butconfidential nature, or major decisions are best
we all know people who appear to have a cellmade face-to-face. These virtues are often
phone permanently attached to their ears, aresuspended in cyberspace and trivialized by the
more comfortable "reaching out" via email, or whoelectromagnetic waves of a cell phone, or digital
can't fight their incessant compulsions to franticallytransference of email.
send or check text messages.Curiously enough, I check my student's names in
I've always said that over the phone we talk, inGoogle at the beginning of each semester to get
person we communicate. The same applies to thebackground information that may help me to
Internet. Recently I stumbled across data whichmodify my curriculum to better serve their needs
upholds my philosophy.and interests, and I'm amazed at the sharp
Researchers have discovered that 7% of thecontrast between the online personalities that
information we receive is from what peoplemany of them portray on social networking sites
actually say, 38% of information we receive issuch as MySpace, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and
from the tone, inflection and speed of our voices,how they are in person.
and a staggering 55% of the information weDr. Avner Caspi of the Chais Research Center for
receive comes from our body language.the Integration of Technology in Education says
''Non-verbal body cues are more immediate,that online communications thrive because of the
instinctive and uncontrolled than verbal expression,visual anonymity and virtual component of the
bringing genuine attitudes and feelings smack intousers on both sides who render conveying
the open,'' stated Dr. Joy Davidson in a 1998misleading and untruthful information relatively
Men's Fitness article.easy, although some say that the anonymity
The benchmark is how an individual reacted toenhances self-disclosure and honesty, with some
preliminary questions of a relatively innocuoususers revealing some truths.
nature. This is similar to the technique used inSo what are people lying about on the Internet?
performing a polygraph or lie detector exam.44% about their residence, 27% about their age,
''Microexpressions'' is what Paul Ekman, a21% about their marital status. As an aside,
University of California psychology professor whopeople who lie about their residential status tend
researches emotional expression and lie detection,to be women who do so as a means of
calls the quick, involuntary ''flashes of emotion''protection.
revealed by a person concealing the truth.It's not the lies or the half-truths that concern me
Microexpressions last one-fifth of a second or(though single people certainly have cause for
less.concern) it's the distortions and exaggerations
For example, among the gestures indicative ofthat are more troubling. Whether we are
lying are touching one's face, placing a hand overcommunicating online, or in person, the purpose of
one's mouth, ear-pulling, downcast eyes, glancingcommunication is to exchange information that
at the questioner, seat shifting, and looking downbreeds a relationship which is based on honesty
and left. Eye movement is also indicative ofand yields dividends for both parties. Anything less
right-brain activity corresponding to falsification,will be short-lived.
rather than the left-brain activity associated withWhen we rely upon emails and text messaging
memory and recall. Similarly, an agreeable listenerfor communication, they only tell half the story.
will close papers, place a pen down, and lay theirMake it a point to periodically engage in
hands flat down on the table...but you can't seeface-to-face communications with people to get
that on a cell phone.the other half of the story which they may not
In case you need additional motivation to considerverbalize, but will express in a myriad of
a reduction in the time you spend on a your cell,aforementioned ways. After all, there is truly no
mobile phone use is dangerous, according to acomparison to seeing a real smile to looking at : )
recent 2008 report on Mobile Phones and Brainor reading "LOL" to hearing someone do it in
Tumors -A Public Health Concern by Vini Gautamperson.