Single Parenting Strategies: My Top 5 on How To Succeed with Work Time, Home Time and Down Time

1.  Commit To Your ScheduleWhatever your care arrangements are for your
I remember going back to work after maternitychildren – make sure the carer knows how
leave (of about 14 weeks!) and how I hadimportant it is that they’re on time and do
discussed with my boss before going back thatwhat they say they’re going to do.  If
I’d have to leave by 5pm each day, noyou’re going to have to raise the game at
exceptions.  Anyway on day 3 of me being backwork because you’ve now got less
my boss passes me in the corridor and says,out-of-hours flexibility, then you can’t afford
‘We’ve got a meeting with that newto have your head on the kids every 20 minutes
client at 5pm on Thursday’.  I say,thinking ‘I hope they’re all right’,
‘Great, I won’t be able to be there, but I‘should I ring to check?’  Trust your
can send Sally to take notes.  Or we cancarers (or don’t have them support you). 
reschedule’.  My boss then asked meThank them often.  Check regularly with your
‘Why not’ and I told her ‘I’vechildren about how it’s working.
got to be at home by 6pm’.  She then
asked if I had problems with my childcare.  To4.  Explain 'Work' To Your Children
which I replied, ‘It’s no problem, theMy daughter is forever asking me to do the
childcare is great and in place, 8am to 6pm,school runs and to ‘just not go to
Monday to Friday.  I’m as committed as Iwork’.  I’ve had to explain about all the
ever was.  And I’m 100% available insideextra things that we can now enjoy because I
those time frames.”work – holidays, new clothes, the ice cream
So, when we’re clear about our timings andvan treats.  Plus, I’ve explained that even
our boundaries, we can communicate them clearlythough we’ve lived in our house for a long
and most often, get what works best for us.time, I still have to pay the bank for it every
2.  Manage Expectations At Work And At Homemonth, plus gas, electricity, water, phone, mobile,
There’s no point in putting in stronginternet, petrol, food, tax, savings, travel … an
boundaries around your office time, then takingendless list.
work home with you.  If there’s too muchIt’s also good to share some of that
work to do in your contracted hours, you need toresponsibility with our children.  Recently, my
work with your boss and team to restructure. daughter has had to do the bath-time routine
Sounds tough, I know.  But balance is aboutherself once a week and keep herself amused
claiming back what’s going to work best forand quiet for half an hour afterwards while I run
you bit by bit.  And try not to see this as selfishan evening teleclass series from my home
– the reality is that it’s responsible andoffice.  All these conversations and lessons help
it’ll allow the company to have you workingto gradually grow our children into responsible
for them happier and more balanced over time.teenagers and towards adulthood step-by-step.
Also, there are the expectations of our children to5.  Holidays And Downtime
manage.  If we’re not focused with themThis is a balancing act, especially if you have to do
during our home time, we may as well still be atweekend and holiday planning with the
work.  And let’s face it, there are only a fewchildren’s other parent.  Try to keep a work
hours between being home in the evening and thehead for work time, a home head for home time
children going to bed (2 – 4 hours max), soand a holiday head for holidays.  If you have
try to make those hours count.weekends without the children and you think
3.  Get Good Childcareyou’ll miss them – plan an activity to
If you have to pay a bit extra for good childcare,focus on.  I do coffee with friends, catch up on
then do it.  I’ve had nurseries that have hadmovies I haven’t seen, go to the gym, have
a good Montessori learning and organic foodlong baths and sleep late – fills in a weekend!
programs that I’ve paid extra for.  AndAnd if you’re holidaying alone with the children
I’ve had nannies that I’d trust with myfocus on the good things.  Make sure you get an
all.  I’ve also had nannies that call in sick athour each day (maybe when the children are
the last minute or don’t turn up at all! sleeping) to sit with a glass of wine, count your
I’ve had school mums commit time to helpingblessings and imagine how you’re going to
me during term time and I’ve had friendsmake next year even better than this one!
offer to jump in and support me last minute.