| According to researchers about one in every | | | | workshops is that the presenters often have |
| seven Americans seek advice on relationships | | | | handouts, video recordings, and other material |
| from a counselor. What do the other people do | | | | that provides you with resources that you can go |
| when they need relationship advice? They read | | | | home and practice. |
| books, talk with religious leaders, attend education | | | | Educational classes are especially helpful for people |
| classes, or seek help from friends or family | | | | who are auditory learners. Some people may not |
| members. Some people do two or more of these | | | | be able to read a book, but they can attend a |
| in an effort to find relationship help. There are also | | | | class where they can see and hear a presenter. |
| people who put their head in the sand and hope | | | | Another way for auditory learners to receive |
| that their problem will go away. (It doesn't work I | | | | advice on relationships is to seek out professionals |
| have seen far too many people who have tried.) | | | | who have created podcasts or downloadable |
| Here is a list of three alternative approaches to | | | | content to help couples. Some of these are free |
| therapy: | | | | some are not. This is something that my |
| First, read from the best books. I have mentioned | | | | company has recently pursued. We now have our |
| the importance of getting more knowledge in | | | | own Internet radio network at About |
| previous articles, but let me be more specific of | | | | Relationships Radio Network. What we have |
| how I would obtain that knowledge. Suppose that | | | | discovered is that we can offer powerful |
| you and your spouse are having marriage | | | | educational tools to individuals over the Internet. |
| problems. If counseling is not an option, I believe | | | | We have professionals who address topics related |
| you can still receive good professional help. I | | | | to dating, divorce, marriage, parenting, and |
| would suggest that you begin by going to and | | | | pornography addiction. These are educational |
| typing in "marriage problems." You will find these | | | | classes that individuals and couples can access |
| books listed in the top three: | | | | from their own computer. These are the same |
| - Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for | | | | classes that we teach in our centers, but instead |
| Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love, | | | | they are taught over the Internet. The Internet |
| New and Revised | | | | truly has revolutionized how we receive |
| - Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a | | | | information. |
| World That Pulls Us Apart | | | | Third, find a mentor. Many people overlook this |
| - How to Save Your Marriage Alone | | | | option. People who find a mentor are really |
| How can you know whether these are good | | | | seeking someone who can help them learn new |
| books are not? You can click on the "Search | | | | strategies for living their life. Some mentors are |
| Inside" link which will give you a general idea of | | | | also called "Life Coaches." A life coach should not |
| what is inside the book. I also recommend that | | | | be confused with a licensed clinician. A mentor |
| you read the testimonials. Then before you buy | | | | could be a religious leader, a neighbor, or a close |
| the book go to Google or yahoo and type in the | | | | friend. |
| authors name. They will likely have their own | | | | The general rule for finding a good mentor is that |
| website. Read more about them. Many of the | | | | it needs to be someone who has the time and is |
| best authors have audio or video presentations as | | | | willing to talk to you when you don't know what |
| well. | | | | else to do. For example, Mike McManus has |
| Reading from the best books won't help your | | | | developed a program called Marriage Savers. This |
| marriage if you don't do this next part. While | | | | program offers communities and local |
| reading from these books take notes and apply | | | | congregations helpful resources to help individuals, |
| what you are reading to your relationship. They | | | | couples, and families in need. Individuals who are |
| say that most people who read books or attend | | | | trained in this system agree to support specific |
| presentations retain only a very small part of | | | | couples and families who are going through difficult |
| what they read or hear. That makes sense. Think | | | | times. This is just one example of an effective |
| about a book you read one year ago, do you | | | | mentoring system. |
| remember anything about it other than one or | | | | So there you have it, three more suggestions to |
| two stories or key points? One of the best ways | | | | help you find effective relationship advice. Before |
| to apply the things you learn is to teach someone | | | | you give up hope in your marriage or quit trying |
| else what you have discovered. Another way is | | | | to discipline your child seek out the best |
| to practice what you have learned and ask for | | | | information. In the technology world of today, you |
| feedback. | | | | can find valuable relationship help at your finger |
| Second, attend educational workshops. | | | | tips. |
| Researchers are finding that educational classes | | | | The next challenge is learning how to implement |
| are very effective in creating change in couples | | | | what you are learning. I will be writing about that |
| relationships. Some people are more willing to | | | | in an upcoming article titled, "7 Guidelines for |
| attend an educational class instead of going to a | | | | Applying Relationship Advice. |
| professional counselor. The value of educational | | | | |