| Kids who order their parents lack the | | | | wants. Second Social Skill Tip for |
| necessary experience to be generals. | | | | Handling Bossy Kids: If you hold family |
| Inside you'll find 3 parenting tips for | | | | meetings, discuss your son's behavior as |
| decreasing bossiness at home, increasing | | | | a family problem to solve. Role-play |
| social skills, and building character | | | | with him on how to ask for things. Get |
| too. Parenting Advice - A Social Skills | | | | him to make a commitment to ask with |
| Quote: "Conversation isn't just | | | | respect. Have him write his commitment |
| crossfire where you shoot and get shot | | | | and sign it. Then post it on the |
| at! Where you've got to duck for your | | | | refrigerator as a reminder. Third Social |
| life and aim to kill! Words aren't only | | | | Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids: Think |
| bombs and bullets -- no, they're little | | | | about using the Feedback Formula when |
| gifts, containing meanings!" - Philip | | | | your son orders you to do his bidding. |
| Roth If you have a demanding child, his | | | | It's simple and goes like this: When you |
| words may feel like bullets. Let's find | | | | - I feel - I would like you to - Let's |
| out how to change them into little gifts | | | | fill it in: When you order me to do |
| with meanings. This Social Skill Problem | | | | something, I feel disrespected and won't |
| Comes from Bruce: "My 11 year-old-son | | | | get what you want. I would like you to |
| need's to ask for what he wants with | | | | say, "Please" with respect or get it |
| respect. It is automatic for him to say, | | | | yourself. This formula could help your |
| "Dad, get me some milk." After such a | | | | son realize the tone of his words affect |
| command, conversations like the | | | | both you and others. If his bossiness |
| following takes place: Dad - Sorry can't | | | | doesn't work at home, it won't work at |
| do it. Son - Why? Dad - Because you have | | | | school or with friends either. Thank |
| not asked for it properly. Son - | | | | you, Bruce, for sharing this social |
| (begrudgingly) May I please have some | | | | skills problem. May it help other |
| milk. It happens over and over again." | | | | parents who face bossy kids. Social |
| Parenting Advice - An Important | | | | Skills Summary: Consider using one or a |
| Principle: Use the least amount of | | | | combination of these social skill tips. |
| discipline to handle the problem. I like | | | | The ease of the "parenting stare," the |
| Bruce's approach. I can even hear his | | | | family meeting, and the feedback formula |
| respectful tone as he corrects his son. | | | | make them valuable parenting tips. The |
| Unfortunately, it's not quite enough to | | | | trick is to use them consistently and |
| handle the problem. First Social Skill | | | | never accept disrespect. Why not teach |
| Tip for Handling Bossy Kids: Pretend you | | | | your little general to change his |
| are Bruce. Consider using the "parenting | | | | demanding bullets into little gifts of |
| stare" while saying and doing nothing. | | | | respect. Respect is a basic social skill |
| Make sure it's serious but not mean. | | | | to learn at home, in school, and with |
| Stare at your son for several seconds | | | | friends. Respect builds character too. |
| then turn away without getting what he | | | | |