Anger Mismanagement

We will never succeed at changing ourselves byokay. We are all fearful at times; we just react
trying to change ourselves directly. We must do itdifferently.
indirectly. By indirectly means merely watching ourWhen we begin to understand our anger, when
anger instead of trying to rid ourselves of it,we embrace our anger, we begin to embrace
because attempts to aggressively changeourselves. Until we accept anger for what it is, we
ourselves into something we wish ourselves to bewill never love ourselves; and until we can love
results in faking ourselves out.ourselves, we will never truly love another.
It works like this; we say that we will no longerHumility is the result of seeing anger not as a part
be controlled by our anger. "There, that's settled, Iof you, but as you. Only then can you surrender
don't have to worry about my anger any longer."to the undeniable fact of what you are. There is
Until, of course, someone disrespects us in someno "you" standing apart from the anger. There is
way. We had conveniently "solved" our problemno "you' standing apart from anything.
by trying to kill it rather than understand it, andWe are now talking about changing deep-seated
this doesn't work; it doesn't work withtendencies. This is not the same as changing
relationships, and it certainly doesn't work withyourself from a student to a skilled physician by
personal problems.studying in school. You will be studying your "self,"
Maybe you have been trying to control yourand will be able to see clearly the difference
anger for some time, realizing how anger canbetween ambition, on one hand, and doing only
have long-term consequences; not only forwhat needs to be done, on the other. Ambition
yourself but also for everyone you love. Andand aggressiveness must eventually surrender to
perhaps you have become quite familiar with yourpeace if anger is to be overcome, and all
anger and how it works, aware of the physicalacceptance is the doorway to peace. You must
sensations - the rising blood pressure, the flurryrealize and accept what you are before you can
of thoughts, the extreme desire to react - butchange what you are, otherwise, you will be in a
have you been quick enough to see how angerconstant state of denial, and no progress will ever
cannot arise without the process of thought;be made.
without thinking?The root cause of anger, and all of our problems,
It seems as though the anger arisesis fear. Until fear is understood, anger will be
spontaneously, but it doesn't. Fear arisesdifficult to control. We are fearful about our image
spontaneously. Then fear, accompanied byof ourselves. We have built up our image and
thought, changes into anger. For anger to arise,when someone disrespects it, we become very
we must think about the situating, even if onlyfearful, insecure, and afraid that our supposed
for a moment. Then the anger, now fed withpower is diminished. This is all illusion; this is a
thoughts, moves into action. Anger is what youpsychological construction of the mind. We trick
are in that moment; you are not angry, anger isourselves.
all of you. This is a fact, and cannot be denied. DoIf you are serious about these things, if you want
not deceive yourself by thinking that it isto understand the tricks, you must work on your
otherwise, that you are better than that, or thatmind to strengthen its powers of observation. To
becoming angry was only a slip-up.see into yourself, into your very soul, to know all
Anger is the crux of it, and by an objectivethe things that cause so many problems, you
observation of the raw fear that precedes anger,must train your mind to observe without yourself
you leave yourself no choice but to surrender toin the way. This takes a real combatant to pull off
what you are about to become. No excuses. An- the cool awareness of seasoned warrior. A calm
angry person is a very fearful person, and that'smind is never fearful.