| This is the second article in a series I am | | | | them.Self-Reliant at What?We can encourage |
| writing about how to raise happy diabetic | | | | self-reliance in our children from a fairly |
| children. You can find the first article | | | | early age. As soon as your child shows they |
| titled Help Your Child Develope | | | | can manage things for themselves, however |
| Self-Confidence in our article | | | | slowly or clumsily, we should allow them to |
| archives.Sometimes the phrase "happy diabetic | | | | do so. Self-reliance is best introduced and |
| kids" seems to be an oxymoron. Often it seems | | | | experienced stage by stage, starting early |
| all of the dark powers of the diabetes | | | | and building up slowly as they become more |
| universe are aligned against you. You wonder | | | | more competent and responsible. When children |
| if there isn't some evil house elf behind the | | | | are very young they have this almost |
| scenes just making everyone's life miserable | | | | unstoppable drive to become independent. |
| on purpose. Not being graduates of Hogwarts | | | | Before they learn adult concepts of failure, |
| School Of Magic we can't just wave a magic | | | | they are willing to try over and over until |
| wand and make it all better. We must prepare | | | | they master whatever they are trying to do. |
| for life with diabetes and we must prepare | | | | This is especially true if they have older |
| our children. Self-Reliance is a critical | | | | brothers or sisters. They desprately want to |
| skill for diabetic children to master. Think | | | | do what the older kids can do. If we stand in |
| of all of the responsibilities that go into | | | | the way of letting them try or show |
| daily diabetes care. We all realize that we | | | | disapproval when they don't do it quite right |
| must keep the responsibilities we put upon | | | | we can damage their belief in themselves. The |
| our children age appropriate. Non the less, | | | | more we do for them the more we prevent them |
| in most school aged children the ability to | | | | from developing the ability to make |
| take some responsibility for their own care | | | | judgements and decisions for themselves. The |
| goes a long way in giving them some feelings | | | | stages of self-reliance are fun to watch. The |
| of control over their diabetes. Last month I | | | | first time your baby grabs a hand full of |
| mentioned there are three components to | | | | baby food and finds their own mouth with it. |
| raising happy children. Self-Confidence, | | | | When they learn to "go potty" all by |
| Self-Reliance and Self-Control. No I still | | | | themselves. When they put their own shirt on, |
| haven't forgotten Self-Esteem we'll get | | | | usually backwards after wrestling with it for |
| there. I'm still of the opinion that with | | | | ten minutes. When they pick up their own |
| these first three components your child can't | | | | room. When they start to earn an allowance. |
| help but develope Self-Esteem.What is | | | | When they do their homework without you |
| Self-Reliance?Self-Reliance is the ability to | | | | holding a gun to their head. When they go off |
| manage on your own: to know how to manage | | | | on their first baby-sitting job. When they |
| your time, to function and think | | | | show you their first apartment, where you |
| independently, combined with the ability to | | | | should promptly go through it turning on and |
| solve problems. With self-reliance, there is | | | | leaving on every light in the place, leave |
| no need for other people's approval before | | | | the refridgerator door open and put your feet |
| moving forward or doing something new. It's | | | | up on their new furniture. These stages |
| also un-neccessary for constant guidance on | | | | progress until they present you one day with |
| how to achieve a goal. you can rely on | | | | a grandchild. Clearly you cannot encourage |
| yourself. Self-reliance is about tasks and | | | | self-reliance in your child if you are not |
| skills -- knowing how to do things, how to | | | | prepared to stand back and progressively let |
| achieve things or how to manage things. It | | | | go. Doing that in the right amounts and at |
| also includes the ability to be alone and to | | | | the right times is hard to judge. Add the |
| think things through on your own. | | | | dangers of their not managing daily diabetes |
| | | | treatment into it and you realize just how |
| Self-reliance is broader than | | | | careful you need to be. Giving them |
| self-confidence. Self-confidence relates to | | | | responsibility and independence depends on |
| what we can do, to specific skills. | | | | the age and personality of your child and on |
| Self-reliance is about being independent, | | | | your own particular circumstances. Children |
| creative and self-sufficient; having | | | | can become self-reliant only if we have |
| confidence in our inner-selvs to enable us to | | | | encouraged their independence, given them |
| adapt and manage on our own.Self-Reliance | | | | practice in making decisions that concern |
| helps us become:Self-reliance is also having | | | | themselves and their health, and shown them |
| confidence in your own ideas. It is about | | | | that they can be relied upon.We have been |
| being able to see things through to | | | | given a special task, raising a diabetic |
| completion. It is about not being afraid of | | | | child. This makes us special people. If we |
| setting goals, and not being stopped by fear | | | | weren't up to it we wouldn't have been |
| of failure. There is a common belief that the | | | | entrusted with it. Self-reliance is a |
| world is made up of three diffrent types of | | | | critical part of raising any child, diabetic |
| people:those who make things happen;those who | | | | or not. Diabetes just makes it more difficult |
| watch things happen;those who notice nothing | | | | and more important we help our children |
| until after then ask, "What happened?"Those | | | | develope this skill.Next month I'll talk |
| who have good self-reliance (and | | | | about Self-Control.Russell Turner is the |
| self-confidence, and self-control) develope | | | | father of a 10 year old Type 1 Juvenile |
| self-esteem and make things happen. If we | | | | Diabetic daughter. When she was first |
| want our children to be able to make things | | | | diagnosed he quickly found there was all |
| happen, we don't have to think on a grand | | | | kinds of information on the internet about |
| scale. It doesn't mean we all should want our | | | | the medical aspects of this dsease. What he |
| children to be like Bill Gates, or Nobel | | | | couldn't find was information about how to |
| Prize winners. We don't need to have our | | | | prepare his family to live with this disease. |
| children achieve on a scale that makes a | | | | He started a website and designed it so |
| difference to others, We should aim to give | | | | parents of newly diagnosed children would |
| our children a measure of self-reliance that | | | | have a one-stop resource to learn to prepare |
| allows them to keep better control of their | | | | for life with diabetes. |
| own lives and keep choices open for | | | | |