| This is the second article in a series I am writing | | | | encourage self-reliance in our children from a fairly |
| about how to raise happy diabetic children. You | | | | early age. As soon as your child shows they can |
| can find the first article titled Help Your Child | | | | manage things for themselves, however slowly or |
| Develope Self-Confidence in our article | | | | clumsily, we should allow them to do so. |
| archives.Sometimes the phrase "happy diabetic | | | | Self-reliance is best introduced and experienced |
| kids" seems to be an oxymoron. Often it seems | | | | stage by stage, starting early and building up |
| all of the dark powers of the diabetes universe | | | | slowly as they become more more competent |
| are aligned against you. You wonder if there isn't | | | | and responsible. When children are very young |
| some evil house elf behind the scenes just making | | | | they have this almost unstoppable drive to |
| everyone's life miserable on purpose. Not being | | | | become independent. Before they learn adult |
| graduates of Hogwarts School Of Magic we can't | | | | concepts of failure, they are willing to try over |
| just wave a magic wand and make it all better. | | | | and over until they master whatever they are |
| We must prepare for life with diabetes and we | | | | trying to do. This is especially true if they have |
| must prepare our children. Self-Reliance is a critical | | | | older brothers or sisters. They desprately want to |
| skill for diabetic children to master. Think of all of | | | | do what the older kids can do. If we stand in the |
| the responsibilities that go into daily diabetes care. | | | | way of letting them try or show disapproval |
| We all realize that we must keep the | | | | when they don't do it quite right we can damage |
| responsibilities we put upon our children age | | | | their belief in themselves. The more we do for |
| appropriate. Non the less, in most school aged | | | | them the more we prevent them from |
| children the ability to take some responsibility for | | | | developing the ability to make judgements and |
| their own care goes a long way in giving them | | | | decisions for themselves. The stages of |
| some feelings of control over their diabetes. Last | | | | self-reliance are fun to watch. The first time your |
| month I mentioned there are three components | | | | baby grabs a hand full of baby food and finds |
| to raising happy children. Self-Confidence, | | | | their own mouth with it. When they learn to "go |
| Self-Reliance and Self-Control. No I still haven't | | | | potty" all by themselves. When they put their |
| forgotten Self-Esteem we'll get there. I'm still of | | | | own shirt on, usually backwards after wrestling |
| the opinion that with these first three | | | | with it for ten minutes. When they pick up their |
| components your child can't help but develope | | | | own room. When they start to earn an allowance. |
| Self-Esteem.What is Self-Reliance?Self-Reliance is | | | | When they do their homework without you |
| the ability to manage on your own: to know how | | | | holding a gun to their head. When they go off on |
| to manage your time, to function and think | | | | their first baby-sitting job. When they show you |
| independently, combined with the ability to solve | | | | their first apartment, where you should promptly |
| problems. With self-reliance, there is no need for | | | | go through it turning on and leaving on every light |
| other people's approval before moving forward or | | | | in the place, leave the refridgerator door open |
| doing something new. It's also un-neccessary for | | | | and put your feet up on their new furniture. |
| constant guidance on how to achieve a goal. you | | | | These stages progress until they present you one |
| can rely on yourself. Self-reliance is about tasks | | | | day with a grandchild. Clearly you cannot |
| and skills -- knowing how to do things, how to | | | | encourage self-reliance in your child if you are not |
| achieve things or how to manage things. It also | | | | prepared to stand back and progressively let go. |
| includes the ability to be alone and to think things | | | | Doing that in the right amounts and at the right |
| through on your own. | | | | times is hard to judge. Add the dangers of their |
| Self-reliance is broader than self-confidence. | | | | not managing daily diabetes treatment into it and |
| Self-confidence relates to what we can do, to | | | | you realize just how careful you need to be. |
| specific skills. Self-reliance is about being | | | | Giving them responsibility and independence |
| independent, creative and self-sufficient; having | | | | depends on the age and personality of your child |
| confidence in our inner-selvs to enable us to adapt | | | | and on your own particular circumstances. Children |
| and manage on our own.Self-Reliance helps us | | | | can become self-reliant only if we have |
| become:Self-reliance is also having confidence in | | | | encouraged their independence, given them |
| your own ideas. It is about being able to see | | | | practice in making decisions that concern |
| things through to completion. It is about not being | | | | themselves and their health, and shown them that |
| afraid of setting goals, and not being stopped by | | | | they can be relied upon.We have been given a |
| fear of failure. There is a common belief that the | | | | special task, raising a diabetic child. This makes us |
| world is made up of three diffrent types of | | | | special people. If we weren't up to it we wouldn't |
| people:those who make things happen;those who | | | | have been entrusted with it. Self-reliance is a |
| watch things happen;those who notice nothing until | | | | critical part of raising any child, diabetic or not. |
| after then ask, "What happened?"Those who | | | | Diabetes just makes it more difficult and more |
| have good self-reliance (and self-confidence, and | | | | important we help our children develope this |
| self-control) develope self-esteem and make | | | | skill.Next month I'll talk about Self-Control.Russell |
| things happen. If we want our children to be able | | | | Turner is the father of a 10 year old Type 1 |
| to make things happen, we don't have to think on | | | | Juvenile Diabetic daughter. When she was first |
| a grand scale. It doesn't mean we all should want | | | | diagnosed he quickly found there was all kinds of |
| our children to be like Bill Gates, or Nobel Prize | | | | information on the internet about the medical |
| winners. We don't need to have our children | | | | aspects of this dsease. What he couldn't find was |
| achieve on a scale that makes a difference to | | | | information about how to prepare his family to |
| others, We should aim to give our children a | | | | live with this disease. He started a website and |
| measure of self-reliance that allows them to keep | | | | designed it so parents of newly diagnosed children |
| better control of their own lives and keep choices | | | | would have a one-stop resource to learn to |
| open for them.Self-Reliant at What?We can | | | | prepare for life with diabetes. |