| A lot of stress is caused in our lives in the | | | | have to do?". I guarantee the types of |
| pursuit of trying to keep other people happy, | | | | questions we ask ourself will determine the |
| especially our family. This addiction reaches | | | | type of Christmas we experience! |
| its peak around Christmas time. We have | | | | |
| parents trying to keep their young children | | | | A word of care, in this process of being true |
| happy and older kids who have left home | | | | to ourselves at no point does this mean we |
| trying to keep their parents happy. Everybody | | | | need to be disrespectful or dismissive of |
| wants to be happy and wants everybody else to | | | | those we are communicating with. Just |
| be happy, so great lengths are taken to | | | | because we are letting go of trying to keep |
| ensure everyone is being treated "fairly". | | | | people happy does not mean we throw gratitude |
| | | | and kindness out the window. When |
| The tragic thing about everyone trying so | | | | communicating our decisions with others it's |
| hard to keep each other happy around | | | | always essential that it is done with the |
| Christmas is that this process often results | | | | utmost of courtesy and respect. |
| in a lot of stressed, disappointed and | | | | |
| unhappy people. That's right, it doesn't | | | | On a lighter note, the fantastic thing about |
| actually work! This pursuit of trying to | | | | pursuing a different path, where we are just |
| keep people happy is based on a misleading | | | | being true to what feels right, is it gives |
| idea that we are responsible for other's | | | | everyone in our family the permission to do |
| emotions, and that we have some control over | | | | the same. We can say to our relatives and |
| how other people feel. If someone really | | | | extended family, "I would love for you to do |
| wants to be unhappy it doesn't matter what we | | | | what feels right for you around Christmas". |
| do they will be unhappy. Likewise if someone | | | | So it really is about setting everyone free |
| wants to be happy it doesn't matter what we | | | | to do what is true for them, without trying |
| do they will be happy. | | | | to make other people agree with what feels |
| | | | right for you. Instead of trying to control |
| So if we are choosing to let go of the idea | | | | others and defending ourselves we can simply |
| of trying to keep each other happy, what do | | | | celebrate difference and explore how these |
| we replace it with? My experience after seven | | | | differences can live side by side around |
| years of coaching is that the most beneficial | | | | Christmas time. |
| replacement is to shift our focus onto what | | | | |
| feels true for us, using our intuition | | | | So if you are looking for a more relaxed and |
| instead of our expectations and judgements, | | | | enjoyable Christmas this year, let go of the |
| to guide us. In order to make this shift we | | | | idea of trying to keep people happy and |
| need to ask ourselves questions such as "What | | | | replace it with simply engaging fully with |
| feels natural to me?" or "What feels right | | | | what feels right for you. If everyone does |
| true" and let go of questions that move us | | | | this we may end up with a more peaceful |
| into judgement such as "What should I do?" | | | | Christmas time. |
| and "What will they think?" or "What do I | | | | |