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Trying Less This Christmas

A lot of stress is caused in our lives in thehave to do?". I guarantee the types of
pursuit of trying to keep other people happy,questions we ask ourself will determine the
especially our family. This addiction reachestype  of  Christmas  we  experience!
its peak around Christmas time. We have
parents trying to keep their young childrenA word of care, in this process of being true
happy and older kids who have left hometo ourselves at no point does this mean we
trying to keep their parents happy. Everybodyneed to be disrespectful or dismissive of
wants to be happy and wants everybody else tothose we are communicating with. Just
be happy, so great lengths are taken tobecause we are letting go of trying to keep
ensure  everyone  is  being treated "fairly".people happy does not mean we throw gratitude
and kindness out the window. When
The tragic thing about everyone trying socommunicating our decisions with others it's
hard to keep each other happy aroundalways essential that it is done with the
Christmas is that this process often resultsutmost  of  courtesy  and  respect.
in a lot of stressed, disappointed and
unhappy people. That's right, it doesn'tOn a lighter note, the fantastic thing about
actually work! This pursuit of trying topursuing a different path, where we are just
keep people happy is based on a misleadingbeing true to what feels right, is it gives
idea that we are responsible for other'severyone in our family the permission to do
emotions, and that we have some control overthe same. We can say to our relatives and
how other people feel. If someone reallyextended family, "I would love for you to do
wants to be unhappy it doesn't matter what wewhat feels right for you around Christmas".
do they will be unhappy. Likewise if someoneSo it really is about setting everyone free
wants to be happy it doesn't matter what weto do what is true for them, without trying
do  they  will  be  happy.to make other people agree with what feels
right for you. Instead of trying to control
So if we are choosing to let go of the ideaothers and defending ourselves we can simply
of trying to keep each other happy, what docelebrate difference and explore how these
we replace it with? My experience after sevendifferences can live side by side around
years of coaching is that the most beneficialChristmas  time.
replacement is to shift our focus onto what
feels true for us, using our intuitionSo if you are looking for a more relaxed and
instead of our expectations and judgements,enjoyable Christmas this year, let go of the
to guide us. In order to make this shift weidea of trying to keep people happy and
need to ask ourselves questions such as "Whatreplace it with simply engaging fully with
feels natural to me?" or "What feels rightwhat feels right for you. If everyone does
true" and let go of questions that move usthis we may end up with a more peaceful
into judgement such as "What should I do?"Christmas time.
and "What will they think?" or "What do I



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