Trying Less This Christmas

A lot of stress is caused in our lives in the pursuit"What should I do?" and "What will they think?" or
of trying to keep other people happy, especially"What do I have to do?". I guarantee the types
our family. This addiction reaches its peak aroundof questions we ask ourself will determine the
Christmas time. We have parents trying to keeptype of Christmas we experience!
their young children happy and older kids whoA word of care, in this process of being true to
have left home trying to keep their parentsourselves at no point does this mean we need to
happy. Everybody wants to be happy and wantsbe disrespectful or dismissive of those we are
everybody else to be happy, so great lengths arecommunicating with. Just because we are letting
taken to ensure everyone is being treated "fairly".go of trying to keep people happy does not
The tragic thing about everyone trying so hard tomean we throw gratitude and kindness out the
keep each other happy around Christmas is thatwindow. When communicating our decisions with
this process often results in a lot of stressed,others it's always essential that it is done with the
disappointed and unhappy people. That's right, itutmost of courtesy and respect.
doesn't actually work! This pursuit of trying toOn a lighter note, the fantastic thing about
keep people happy is based on a misleading ideapursuing a different path, where we are just
that we are responsible for other's emotions, andbeing true to what feels right, is it gives everyone
that we have some control over how otherin our family the permission to do the same. We
people feel. If someone really wants to becan say to our relatives and extended family, "I
unhappy it doesn't matter what we do they willwould love for you to do what feels right for you
be unhappy. Likewise if someone wants to bearound Christmas". So it really is about setting
happy it doesn't matter what we do they will beeveryone free to do what is true for them,
happy.without trying to make other people agree with
So if we are choosing to let go of the idea ofwhat feels right for you. Instead of trying to
trying to keep each other happy, what do wecontrol others and defending ourselves we can
replace it with? My experience after seven yearssimply celebrate difference and explore how
of coaching is that the most beneficialthese differences can live side by side around
replacement is to shift our focus onto what feelsChristmas time.
true for us, using our intuition instead of ourSo if you are looking for a more relaxed and
expectations and judgements, to guide us. Inenjoyable Christmas this year, let go of the idea
order to make this shift we need to askof trying to keep people happy and replace it with
ourselves questions such as "What feels natural tosimply engaging fully with what feels right for you.
me?" or "What feels right/true" and let go ofIf everyone does this we may end up with a
questions that move us into judgement such asmore peaceful Christmas time.