| A first-rate communicator discerns how to | | | | know that action is crucial. Like the others, |
| deal with conflict. His goal is not to | | | | this is merely a provisional answer. This |
| eliminate conflict but to control it in such | | | | dispute returns, perhaps in a more powerful |
| a way that it brings about evolution and | | | | form. |
| constructive outcome. We all have our | | | | |
| personal ways of dealing with conflict, our | | | | Savvy Negotiator: This person hunts for |
| own methods of handling trying situations. | | | | consensus and works assiduously to get it. |
| How do you control conflict to minimize risks | | | | Negotiation works best when all parties have |
| and maximize benefits? How can you handle | | | | problem-solving skills. Negotiators work to |
| conflict in a way that boosts your growth | | | | discover methods satisfactory to both parties |
| potential? The following iterates different | | | | while keeping objectives and values intact. |
| ways we cope with conflict in a small | | | | This is the best tonic for communication |
| assembly: | | | | breakdown. |
| | | | |
| Mr. Avoider: Several people strive for | | | | The first aim in resolving friction is to |
| detachment because they are awkward with | | | | deal constructively with the emotions |
| anger in any form. Sometimes their evasion | | | | involved. Keep in mind that you should regard |
| creates conflict or makes a frenzied | | | | the other person with respect, listen until |
| situation worse. Evasion can be of advantage | | | | you "experience the other side," and to |
| to you if you are not part of the predicament | | | | convet your views, needs and emotions. Though |
| or part of the solution. It is not always | | | | talking may trigger conflict, it is also the |
| your duty to "fix" every conflict that arises | | | | only means of deciding it. |
| in your home or workplace. | | | | |
| | | | Discussion can focus on defining the crisis |
| Madame Accommodator: The Accommodator tries | | | | by saying, "I hear…" looking for |
| to keep everyone happy. This person's | | | | agreement by saying, "I agree …"; |
| objective is shallow harmony, not necessarily | | | | understanding feelings "I understand |
| an equitable resolution of the discord. | | | | …"; and stating views calmly. "I |
| Accommodation is favored when the concerns | | | | think…" Several people plunge headlong |
| are minor or when the relationship would be | | | | into conflict without determining if their |
| irreparably spoiled because tempers are too | | | | timing is right to work out the situation. |
| hot. Here the solution is only passing. | | | | Others forget to set the stipulations for the |
| | | | conflict. Many jump into a conflict without |
| Stealthy Compromiser: The Compromiser tenders | | | | knowing if the other person assents to the |
| a solution which, at first glance, appears to | | | | terms. |
| settle conflict. Nonetheless, both sides are | | | | |
| left disgruntled because both yield something | | | | Deploying the method described above promotes |
| they wanted. Compromise works best when time | | | | the genuine and direct expression of feelings |
| is fleeting and both parties benefit. But | | | | by one person at a time. As emotions are |
| it's a less than ideal situation because | | | | articulated, heard and acknowledged, they are |
| everyone loses something. | | | | transient. When they are not expressed, heard |
| | | | or acknowledged, they fester. This style can |
| Aggressive Competitor: For the Competitor, | | | | rapidly neutralize emotions so divergence can |
| discord is a fun game. Power gets this | | | | be discussed more fruitfully. |
| person's interest. The competitive approach | | | | |
| is greatest when all parties distinguish the | | | | Warmly. |
| power relationship between themselves and | | | | |