| "Achieving tranquility is a matter of
| |
| | took her friend's spot - so there. She
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| simply changing perspectives..." Raeleen
| |
| | turned to me with a smile on her face and
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| D'Agostino Mautner
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| | asked "Does your stomach go into knots
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| How often have you experienced one of the
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| | every time you watch them too? I get so
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| following?
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| | nervous for him that I can't even stay in
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| * Things seem to be going okay and then
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| | my seat."
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| something happens that completely changes
| |
| | In a matter of seconds, from my
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| how you're feeling and throws your life
| |
| | perspective this woman went from being
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| into some level of chaos or upset; or,
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| | extremely rude to being just another mom
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| * You're in a relatively good mood until
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| | who wanted to see her son have a great
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| something occurs or someone says
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| | competition and who cared so much that it
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| something that instantly annoys or angers
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| | made her anxious. We talked for a while
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| you and the good mood flies out the
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| | and it turned out she only lives twenty
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| window.
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| | minutes away from me, that her son used
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| Often it may seem that you're stuck in a
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| | to attend the same gym as my son, and she
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| pattern where it only takes seconds for
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| | seemed to be a really nice person.
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| you to go from happy and peaceful to
| |
| | So what happened? Once I spoke with her,
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| angry and stressed because of some event,
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| | my perspective changed - B, "my belief"
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| whether it's something that happens or
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| | changed. I had new understanding and I
|
| some way that another person acts toward
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| | was able to let go of my anger and
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| you.
| |
| | annoyance immediately.
|
| But it doesn't have to be that way. You
| |
| | But by keeping a more open mind I could
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| can shift that pattern by keeping an open
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| | have done this right away when I felt the
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| mind and changing your perspective -
| |
| | first twinge of annoyance. With the same
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| changing what you think about the
| |
| | situation (woman standing in front of
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| problematic event.
| |
| | me), all I needed to do to change my bad
|
| There's a simple 3-part equation that
| |
| | feeling (C) was to change my way of
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| helps this make sense. I've seen various
| |
| | looking at the situation (B) from she's
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| authors describe it in different ways,
| |
| | rude to maybe she can't see her child or
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| and I'll describe two of them here.
| |
| | maybe the bleachers are uncomfortable.
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| In her book Living La Dolce Vita: Bring
| |
| | This more open mindset would have helped
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| the Passion, Laughter and Serenity of
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| | keep my negative emotions in check -
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| Italy into Your Daily Life, Raeleen
| |
| | although then I might not have had the
|
| D'Agostino Mautner describes a three-part
| |
| | opportunity to talk with such a lovely
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| paradigm for overriding negative emotions
| |
| | person.
|
| where:
| |
| | Another very similar way to look at this
|
| A + B = C
| |
| | equation is from Jack Canfield's The
|
| A = the negative event,
| |
| | Success Principles(TM): How to Get from
|
| B = your belief about the event, and
| |
| | Where You Are to Where You Want to Be:
|
| C = the emotional consequence of the
| |
| | E + R = O
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| belief.
| |
| | E = the negative event,
|
| Based on this idea, if you shift your
| |
| | R = your reaction to the event, and
|
| belief (B) - your perspective - about the
| |
| | O = the outcome.
|
| event (A), then you change how you end up
| |
| | This makes it easy to see that by
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| feeling (C).
| |
| | reacting differently to an event or
|
| I'll give you an example. I was at a
| |
| | challenge - changing your perspective -
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| sporting event where I was watching my
| |
| | you can change the outcomes that you
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| son compete. Seating was limited, but I
| |
| | experience in life for the better.
|
| got a spot on the gym floor from which I
| |
| | It doesn't matter which of these
|
| could see - that is until two people
| |
| | equations you choose to use. Use the one
|
| stood directly in front of me (A, the
| |
| | that is clearer and easier for you to
|
| "event"). My immediate thoughts were that
| |
| | apply. Each equation points to the fact
|
| these were the rudest people on the face
| |
| | that by changing your belief or manner of
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| of the planet (B, my "belief"). And then
| |
| | reacting (your perspective), you can
|
| I was feeling angry and annoyed (C, the
| |
| | change the end result of an event. You
|
| "emotional consequence"), and I was no
| |
| | can bring more tranquility and inner
|
| longer really enjoying the sporting
| |
| | peace into your life just by changing
|
| event.
| |
| | your perspective because it's often your
|
| After a while, one offender walked away
| |
| | perspective rather than the situation
|
| and I decided to stake my territory. I
| |
| | itself that makes you feel bad.
|
| moved up next to the remaining woman and
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| |
|
