| When we are in the "deep end" of parenting-at | | | | |
| the end of our rope-we will grasp at the | | | | What a Mom Sows, She Also Reaps |
| first thing we think of to stop our child's | | | | |
| misbehavior. When our kids are pushing | | | | That's the simple truth about spanking kids |
| every button we have (and even some we didn't | | | | on the bottom as a punishment. Call it |
| know we had), spanking kids over the knee | | | | human nature, but there is a natural tendency |
| may seem like a good idea to get them to | | | | to seek revenge when we believe we have |
| REALLY learn from their mistakes. But does | | | | been unjustly punished. Kids spanked over the |
| it work? | | | | knee have dozens of ways to get back at us, |
| | | | including: |
| No doubt about it, spanking can interrupt | | | | |
| misbehavior you don't like. If you are a | | | | - Using the silent treatment |
| mom who has ever yelled, spanked or punished | | | | |
| your child, you can join the other millions | | | | - Getting poor grades in school |
| of moms out there. And after you have | | | | |
| punished your child, do you ever experience | | | | - Acquiring sudden Alzheimer's when it comes |
| that wee bit of satisfaction that comes from | | | | to chores |
| feeling like you've "won", that you're | | | | |
| FINALLY getting them to do what you want them | | | | - Performing award-winning temper tantrums |
| to do? But then don't you also experience | | | | |
| GUILT? Since kids spanked over the knee will | | | | - Saying "I hate you!" (the granddaddy of all |
| often stop their immediate misbehavior, you | | | | revenge tactics). |
| may have concluded that spanking is an | | | | |
| effective way of disciplining them (despite | | | | Spanking also establishes a powerful model |
| the guilt). | | | | for our children to follow in their "monkey |
| | | | see, monkey do" fashion. Kids will often use |
| Long-Term Effects of Being Spanked over the | | | | our punishment approach to also get their |
| Knee | | | | own way. Eldest children are especially prone |
| | | | to pick up on a mom's authoritative |
| While on a beach in Santa Barbara, I met a | | | | approach and will attempt to pull rank, be |
| guy in his late 20s who as a child had been | | | | boss, and even bully others (especially |
| spanked over the knee. When he found out I | | | | siblings). Where did they learn this? Yup! |
| was the author of the book When You're | | | | From that pretty woman who looks back at |
| About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your | | | | you in the mirror each day. |
| Kids With You, he excitedly shared how | | | | |
| spanking had helped him to listen to his | | | | So, although spanking can stop misbehavior in |
| mother, do what he was told, and learn | | | | the short term, be warned! Spanking a child |
| about right and wrong. "Being spanked over | | | | over the knee can lead to them "spanking" |
| her knee also taught me how to use the | | | | you-and others-later on down the road. |
| wooden spoon on her," he laughed. I went for | | | | |
| the bait. "How did it do this?," I asked. | | | | Do you want your children to end up spanking |
| One Christmas, when he was four years old, | | | | you? |
| his Mother was mad at herself for | | | | |
| forgetting to water the Christmas tree. As | | | | Probably not. The good news: there are dozens |
| she got down on her hands and knees to pick | | | | of effective parenting strategies that can |
| up the fallen pine needles, her son snuck | | | | get you what you want (great behavior) while |
| into the kitchen, got the wooden pasta spoon | | | | giving your children what they need (the |
| that doubled as the spanking spoon, and | | | | opportunity to be responsible, happy and |
| boldly took a whack at her rear end (just | | | | compassionate). Learn these positive |
| like she had taught him!) yelling, "Bad | | | | parenting tools and you and your children can |
| Mommy, Bad Mommy!" Her response? She spanked | | | | thrive in a spank-free, guilt-free |
| him. | | | | environment! |