| When we are in the "deep end" of parenting-at | | | | him!) yelling, "Bad Mommy, Bad Mommy!" Her |
| the end of our rope-we will grasp at the first | | | | response? She spanked him. |
| thing we think of to stop our child's misbehavior. | | | | What a Mom Sows, She Also Reaps |
| When our kids are pushing every button we have | | | | That's the simple truth about spanking kids on the |
| (and even some we didn't know we had), | | | | bottom as a punishment. Call it human nature, but |
| spanking kids over the knee may seem like a | | | | there is a natural tendency to seek revenge |
| good idea to get them to REALLY learn from | | | | when we believe we have been unjustly punished. |
| their mistakes. But does it work? | | | | Kids spanked over the knee have dozens of |
| No doubt about it, spanking can interrupt | | | | ways to get back at us, including: |
| misbehavior you don't like. If you are a mom who | | | | - Using the silent treatment |
| has ever yelled, spanked or punished your child, | | | | - Getting poor grades in school |
| you can join the other millions of moms out there. | | | | - Acquiring sudden Alzheimer's when it comes to |
| And after you have punished your child, do you | | | | chores |
| ever experience that wee bit of satisfaction that | | | | - Performing award-winning temper tantrums |
| comes from feeling like you've "won", that you're | | | | - Saying "I hate you!" (the granddaddy of all |
| FINALLY getting them to do what you want | | | | revenge tactics). |
| them to do? But then don't you also experience | | | | Spanking also establishes a powerful model for |
| GUILT? Since kids spanked over the knee will | | | | our children to follow in their "monkey see, |
| often stop their immediate misbehavior, you may | | | | monkey do" fashion. Kids will often use our |
| have concluded that spanking is an effective way | | | | punishment approach to also get their own way. |
| of disciplining them (despite the guilt). | | | | Eldest children are especially prone to pick up on a |
| Long-Term Effects of Being Spanked over the | | | | mom's authoritative approach and will attempt to |
| Knee | | | | pull rank, be boss, and even bully others |
| While on a beach in Santa Barbara, I met a guy in | | | | (especially siblings). Where did they learn this? Yup! |
| his late 20s who as a child had been spanked | | | | From that pretty woman who looks back at you |
| over the knee. When he found out I was the | | | | in the mirror each day. |
| author of the book When You're About To Go | | | | So, although spanking can stop misbehavior in the |
| Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With | | | | short term, be warned! Spanking a child over the |
| You, he excitedly shared how spanking had helped | | | | knee can lead to them "spanking" you-and |
| him to listen to his mother, do what he was told, | | | | others-later on down the road. |
| and learn about right and wrong. "Being spanked | | | | Do you want your children to end up spanking |
| over her knee also taught me how to use the | | | | you? |
| wooden spoon on her," he laughed. I went for the | | | | Probably not. The good news: there are dozens |
| bait. "How did it do this?," I asked. One Christmas, | | | | of effective parenting strategies that can get you |
| when he was four years old, his Mother was mad | | | | what you want (great behavior) while giving your |
| at herself for forgetting to water the Christmas | | | | children what they need (the opportunity to be |
| tree. As she got down on her hands and knees to | | | | responsible, happy and compassionate). Learn |
| pick up the fallen pine needles, her son snuck into | | | | these positive parenting tools and you and your |
| the kitchen, got the wooden pasta spoon that | | | | children can thrive in a spank-free, guilt-free |
| doubled as the spanking spoon, and boldly took a | | | | environment! |
| whack at her rear end (just like she had taught | | | | |