| Anyone who's ever been to a "stress | | | | "blaming the victim," and I find it |
| management workshop," raise your hand. | | | | reprehensible.When I teach a stress |
| Un-huh, I see that all of you have. And now | | | | management course, my messages are: |
| put your hands up if you think it was | | | | |
| effective. Oh my, not too many of you. Well, | | | | |
| that's about typical for stress management | | | | |
| classes - they're easy and cheap to present | | | | Stress can kill you. |
| but their lessons don't stay with you very | | | | |
| long.In a typical stress management class | | | | You feel stressed when you are overwhelmed |
| taught by your HR department or the EAP, | | | | and feel powerless to do anything about it. |
| you'll hear: | | | | |
| | | | your stress comes from your work, your |
| | | | family, and all of your life. |
| | | | |
| Stress can run you down and make you | | | | It makes no sense to treat just work stress |
| miserable. | | | | - you need to work on all sources. |
| | | | |
| You get stressed through overwork. | | | | You lose stress when you take control of the |
| | | | situation in even small ways. |
| Managing time wisely helps you get the work | | | | |
| done and reduce the stress. | | | | Relaxation techniques are valuable as a |
| | | | bandaid, but don't provide real relief. |
| Here are some relaxation exercises that | | | | |
| will help you cope with stress. | | | | A support network of friends you can talk |
| | | | and vent to is an enormous help. |
| Imagining peaceful scenes during stressful | | | | |
| times will give you relief. | | | | Some cognitive (imagination) techniques |
| | | | help, but they are hard to learn. |
| Maybe you need some long-term psychotherapy. | | | | |
| | | | So my message is, "Your stress comes from |
| Now I've studied the psychology and | | | | everyone you interact with, as well as from |
| physiology of human stress for years, and | | | | yourself; so to achieve a lasting stress |
| have a certificate to prove it, and I can say | | | | reduction you need to get them to change |
| with conviction that ALL OF THESE STATEMENTS | | | | their behaviors, too." I teach basic |
| ARE WRONG. Furthermore, they do you a | | | | techniques of taking control of your work and |
| disservice because they lead you to | | | | family life, and it's surprising how much |
| ineffective solutions.What's the one thing | | | | little acts of assertion (like tidying up |
| that all of these statements have in common? | | | | your desk) can reduce your stress level. |
| They all say, "Look, your stress is your | | | | Ultimately, you want a plan for reducing your |
| problem and it's up to you to learn to deal | | | | psychological workload as much as is |
| with it." Nowhere in any of these statements | | | | reasonable, and increasing your control over |
| is any admission that the company, or your | | | | your work and home life as much as you can. |
| boss, or your colleagues, or your family are | | | | This combination is the magic that will start |
| contributing to your stress and should | | | | reducing your stress level and will give you |
| parciipate in relieving it. When all the | | | | the tools to keep it low. |
| fancy words are stripped away, this is called | | | | |