| Anyone who's ever been to a "stress | | | | When all the fancy words are stripped away, this |
| management workshop," raise your hand. Un-huh, | | | | is called "blaming the victim," and I find it |
| I see that all of you have. And now put your | | | | reprehensible.When I teach a stress management |
| hands up if you think it was effective. Oh my, not | | | | course, my messages are: |
| too many of you. Well, that's about typical for | | | | |
| stress management classes - they're easy and | | | | Stress can kill you. |
| cheap to present but their lessons don't stay with | | | | You feel stressed when you are overwhelmed |
| you very long.In a typical stress management | | | | and feel powerless to do anything about it. |
| class taught by your HR department or the EAP, | | | | your stress comes from your work, your family, |
| you'll hear: | | | | and all of your life. |
| | | | It makes no sense to treat just work stress - |
| Stress can run you down and make you | | | | you need to work on all sources. |
| miserable. | | | | You lose stress when you take control of the |
| You get stressed through overwork. | | | | situation in even small ways. |
| Managing time wisely helps you get the work | | | | Relaxation techniques are valuable as a bandaid, |
| done and reduce the stress. | | | | but don't provide real relief. |
| Here are some relaxation exercises that will help | | | | A support network of friends you can talk and |
| you cope with stress. | | | | vent to is an enormous help. |
| Imagining peaceful scenes during stressful times | | | | Some cognitive (imagination) techniques help, but |
| will give you relief. | | | | they are hard to learn. |
| Maybe you need some long-term psychotherapy. | | | | So my message is, "Your stress comes from |
| Now I've studied the psychology and physiology | | | | everyone you interact with, as well as from |
| of human stress for years, and have a certificate | | | | yourself; so to achieve a lasting stress reduction |
| to prove it, and I can say with conviction that | | | | you need to get them to change their behaviors, |
| ALL OF THESE STATEMENTS ARE WRONG. | | | | too." I teach basic techniques of taking control of |
| Furthermore, they do you a disservice because | | | | your work and family life, and it's surprising how |
| they lead you to ineffective solutions.What's the | | | | much little acts of assertion (like tidying up your |
| one thing that all of these statements have in | | | | desk) can reduce your stress level. Ultimately, you |
| common? They all say, "Look, your stress is your | | | | want a plan for reducing your psychological |
| problem and it's up to you to learn to deal with it." | | | | workload as much as is reasonable, and increasing |
| Nowhere in any of these statements is any | | | | your control over your work and home life as |
| admission that the company, or your boss, or | | | | much as you can. This combination is the magic |
| your colleagues, or your family are contributing to | | | | that will start reducing your stress level and will |
| your stress and should parciipate in relieving it. | | | | give you the tools to keep it low. |