| These days, anger management is a hot topic | | | | use it during an anger driven situation. |
| among educators. More and more, we see angry | | | | 5. Teach them deep breathing - During an angry |
| students committing acts of violence against | | | | episode, our breathing changes to quick short |
| classmates. Educating the public on the topic of | | | | breathes. This breathing causes a cascade of |
| anger management is the best way to help | | | | physiological changes in our body that creates |
| children manage their anger in an appropriate way. | | | | anger. By learning to controlled, deep breathing, |
| What is anger? | | | | children can short circuit the angry response. |
| Angry feelings are normal emotional reactions to | | | | Teach your child to inhale to a 5 counts, then hold |
| daily stresses in our lives that range from irritated | | | | for a 2 counts, and exhale for a 5 counts. For |
| to enraged. It's natural for children to experience | | | | young kids, I call this breathing exercise "Dragon's |
| emotions of anger but it's critical to teach them | | | | breath". Have them pretend that they are |
| proper coping mechanisms so that they do not | | | | breathing out fire with the exhale and that the |
| express these feelings in an uncontrollable manner. | | | | fire is the anger leaving the body. |
| The goal as a parent is not to completely stop | | | | 6. Identify anger triggers - Most children respond |
| the angry emotion since they are hardwired into | | | | to specific triggers that cause anger. Ask your |
| our brain. The goal is to teach the children to | | | | child "What situations make you angry?" The |
| develop self-control and make appropriate choices | | | | answer will vary from frustrations over |
| regarding how to handle these feelings. | | | | homework to bullying at school. Then, talk about |
| Strategies for teach children to handling anger | | | | solutions that are more appropriate to the |
| appropriately | | | | problem situation. You can even rehearse the |
| 1. Lead by example - Research shows that | | | | scenario by role-playing. |
| children model their parents so if the parent blows | | | | 7. Watch for the warning signs - When anger |
| up in fits of rage in front of a child. The child will | | | | starts to arise, they will show signs. Tell your child |
| learn to use anger as a coping mechanism for | | | | that it's important to listen to the warning signs. |
| their situations in their lives. | | | | Ask your child what the specific warning signs |
| 2. Teach empathy and tolerance - Empathy is the | | | | that show that they are getting upset. Some |
| ability to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. | | | | examples of signs could be talking louder, heart |
| Children that understand the feelings of others | | | | pounding, face getting red, clenching fists, or |
| deal better with disagreements with other children. | | | | breathing faster. Once you identify the signs, start |
| 3. Remain calm - Yelling at angry children to | | | | pointing them out when they show signs of |
| control themselves will only increase the intensity | | | | getting upset. For example, "I see your breathing |
| of the outburst. Remaining calm yourself will assist | | | | fast" "Looks like you are getting anger" "You're |
| the child caught by the anger bee. | | | | clenching your fist. Are you getting upset." This |
| 4. Use positive self-talk - Teach children to stay in | | | | self-awareness will snap the child back into reality |
| control by saying affirmations. Affirmations are | | | | and help them manage the anger early - before |
| simple positive messages that the child can say to | | | | it's out of control. |
| themselves in stressful situations. For example, | | | | The secret to successful anger management is to |
| here's a few that a child could learn: "Stop and | | | | intervene early. Most children use anger because it |
| calm down", "Take a deep breath", "Stay in | | | | is their only coping mechanism for daily stress. By |
| control", or "I can handle this". Suggest a few to | | | | identifying problem situations and providing them |
| your child and practice it with them. The more | | | | new techniques for coping, you will keep the |
| you practice it with them the more likely they will | | | | anger bee from grabbing hold of your child. |