| These days, anger management is a hot topic | | | | few to your child and practice it with them. |
| among educators. More and more, we see angry | | | | The more you practice it with them the more |
| students committing acts of violence against | | | | likely they will use it during an anger |
| classmates. Educating the public on the topic | | | | driven situation. |
| of anger management is the best way to help | | | | |
| children manage their anger in an appropriate | | | | 5. Teach them deep breathing - During an |
| way. | | | | angry episode, our breathing changes to quick |
| | | | short breathes. This breathing causes a |
| What is anger? | | | | cascade of physiological changes in our body |
| | | | that creates anger. By learning to |
| Angry feelings are normal emotional reactions | | | | controlled, deep breathing, children can |
| to daily stresses in our lives that range | | | | short circuit the angry response. Teach your |
| from irritated to enraged. It's natural for | | | | child to inhale to a 5 counts, then hold for |
| children to experience emotions of anger but | | | | a 2 counts, and exhale for a 5 counts. For |
| it's critical to teach them proper coping | | | | young kids, I call this breathing exercise |
| mechanisms so that they do not express these | | | | "Dragon's breath". Have them pretend that |
| feelings in an uncontrollable manner. | | | | they are breathing out fire with the exhale |
| | | | and that the fire is the anger leaving the |
| The goal as a parent is not to completely | | | | body. |
| stop the angry emotion since they are | | | | |
| hardwired into our brain. The goal is to | | | | 6. Identify anger triggers - Most children |
| teach the children to develop self-control | | | | respond to specific triggers that cause |
| and make appropriate choices regarding how to | | | | anger. Ask your child "What situations make |
| handle these feelings. | | | | you angry?" The answer will vary from |
| | | | frustrations over homework to bullying at |
| Strategies for teach children to handling | | | | school. Then, talk about solutions that are |
| anger appropriately | | | | more appropriate to the problem situation. |
| | | | You can even rehearse the scenario by |
| 1. Lead by example - Research shows that | | | | role-playing. |
| children model their parents so if the parent | | | | |
| blows up in fits of rage in front of a child. | | | | 7. Watch for the warning signs - When anger |
| The child will learn to use anger as a coping | | | | starts to arise, they will show signs. Tell |
| mechanism for their situations in their | | | | your child that it's important to listen to |
| lives. | | | | the warning signs. Ask your child what the |
| | | | specific warning signs that show that they |
| 2. Teach empathy and tolerance - Empathy is | | | | are getting upset. Some examples of signs |
| the ability to walk a mile in someone else's | | | | could be talking louder, heart pounding, face |
| shoes. Children that understand the feelings | | | | getting red, clenching fists, or breathing |
| of others deal better with disagreements with | | | | faster. Once you identify the signs, start |
| other children. | | | | pointing them out when they show signs of |
| | | | getting upset. For example, "I see your |
| 3. Remain calm - Yelling at angry children to | | | | breathing fast" "Looks like you are getting |
| control themselves will only increase the | | | | anger" "You're clenching your fist. Are you |
| intensity of the outburst. Remaining calm | | | | getting upset." This self-awareness will snap |
| yourself will assist the child caught by the | | | | the child back into reality and help them |
| anger bee. | | | | manage the anger early - before it's out of |
| | | | control. |
| 4. Use positive self-talk - Teach children to | | | | |
| stay in control by saying affirmations. | | | | The secret to successful anger management is |
| Affirmations are simple positive messages | | | | to intervene early. Most children use anger |
| that the child can say to themselves in | | | | because it is their only coping mechanism for |
| stressful situations. For example, here's a | | | | daily stress. By identifying problem |
| few that a child could learn: "Stop and calm | | | | situations and providing them new techniques |
| down", "Take a deep breath", "Stay in | | | | for coping, you will keep the anger bee from |
| control", or "I can handle this". Suggest a | | | | grabbing hold of your child. |